Language Sound Text Noise
Stockport

Last Night at the Museum
Usman Siddiqui & Lee Simpson

(Door Closes)

(Long-ish Pause)

Antelope 1: Are they gone?

Antelope 2: Yeah.

Antelope 1: 'bout time too! I wish they'd put some lights on, I hate the dark!

Antelope 2: Yeah, but you get used to it after a while, it's saving energy and reducing our carbon footprint.

Antelope 1: Since when did you start to care about the environment?

Antelope 2: Since the polar ice caps started to melt.

Antelope 1: How do you know about the ice caps?

Antelope 2: There's a new display down the hall all about the environment; we were carried past it.

Antelope 1: Have you seen what they're doing to the museum lately, lots of new exhibits?

Antelope 2: Yeah, re-branding they call it. All the big firms are doing it. It's all about image these days. Now they are replacing us with gazelles. The smaller the animal, the cheaper the cost. You can claim it back on tax as an employment expense. They're sending us somewhere else.

Antelope 1: Good! I don't like this museum, it's a dump!

Antelope 2: Wouldn't change anything! People would still find museums boring, there's no future in history!

Antelope 1: True! How's life treating you any way?

Antelope 2: Fine, but there's too much dust! At least I'm in one piece, not like those heads on the wall.

Antelope 1: Wait, here comes the night guard, shhhhh!

(Beat)

Antelope 1: I think he's gone now, that was close!

Antelope 2: Remember that time you sneezed? We were almost caught!

Antelope 1: Too close if you ask me! Do you know the time?

Antelope 2: How would I know, antelopes can't read!